I Demand a 100% Discount! [Open]

December 20th, Mid-day

Hijinks stood alone in one of the alleyways that were scattered throughout Manehatten. She was looking out among the marketplace, deep in thought. 'Why is it always so cloudy... And cold?' She wondered. She personally liked it when it was sunny and where there was grass everywhere that wasn't so soggy. She shook her head, and stepped out of the alleyway, into the marketplace.

She pulled out a cardboard sign, with 'Muney pleaz' in large pink writing on the front. She waited there, watching the crowds of ponies passing by. Hopefully somepony would actually notice her, but there are basically beggers everywhere these days. Hijinks was suspecting that the passer-bys were slowly becoming immune to beggers, even the foals. Hijinks mentally made a note, that if she didn't get any bits in the next 10 mi- no, 5 minutes, she would do it the old fashioned way. Stealin- uhh... borrowing.

Quantum inspected yet another seller's wares with a critical eye.  Even though he did not have the money to be actually picky, he would rather head around the marketplace to find the most decent fruits he could find first so if he had to haggle, he would at least haggle over what was most worthwhile.  There was a decent selection of apples, but then again apples were a common fruit. The few melons present were rather small and looked like they had been picked perhaps a bit prematurely and the lettuce and other greens were limp and bruised.  He paused for a second.  Behind some smallish tomatoes he noticed a few remaining cherries.  Those usually went pretty quickly, a hidden stash perhaps?

His gaze slid over the last few sticks of surprisingly crisp looking celery and to the other side of the marketplace.  He still had a few more stands to check.  On the way to a stall run by a rather burly looking earth pony stallion, he passed near to the sign bearing filly, but failed to notice her in his peripheral vision, focused as he was on finding some decent produce.

Hijinks sat there, playing with her mane. 'Ugh soooo boring' She thought with a groan. Just as she was about to 'pack up', she saw a familiar face!... walk right past her. "Hey mister!" She yelled, picking up he cardboard sign and throwing at said pony. "Care to spare a dime?!"

Quantum tensed slightly as a rough cardboard sign flew past into his line of sight and a familiar voice, saying something all together too familiar for his tastes, called out behind him. If the feeling he got at that moment had been somehow translated into language, it would have come out somewhere around 'oh crap.'  He picked up his pace slightly and kept going, thinking 'Nopenopenopenope' in his mind and fervently hoping that the sign had not been, in fact, thrown at him.

"Oh no you don't!" She growled. She began to furiously sprint towards the rude unicorn. "Flaaaashie!" She sang with a childish voice that somehow seemed threatening. "Come back here I wan to talk to yooooou!" She roared, receiving a few odd looks from the ponies and griffons in the street.

Quantum had, by that time, reached what he considered to be the relative safety of another stand and stubbornly ignored the filly's rather irritating yelling, hoping yet still beyond hope that he would not have to deal with her that instant.  The stand's owner was giving him a rather disgruntled look due to the filly's cries however, which gave him a sinking feeling that it was quite inevitable.

Hijinks was so busy yelling that she somehow lost her target in the crowd. "Flaaaaaaashie!" She cried out dramatically, looking up into the air with a pained expression on her face. Done with the charade, she began scanning the crowds for that familiar dull grey coat. "Nope, nope, nope... Ding ding ding!" She spotted a grey pony standing next to a stand.

Sneaking up behind the pony, she turned her joy-buzzer up to low. "ZAP!" She cried, striking the unicorn with Zappy. The pony gave a rather high pitched scream... and SHE turned around, half shocked, half angry. Hijinks chuckled, "Oops, sorry miss." She apologized to the startled mare, "I thought you were a stallion." She skipped back into the crowd of ponies, chanting, "Flaaaaashie!"

Quantum completed his sweep of the stand.  Nothing exciting or even quite as good as a few places on the other side. He nodded to the seller, who responded with an irritated grunt, and took a step only to hear some poor mare give a shriek of surprise, followed by a short pause in the the filly's calls. He groaned to himself. If she was attacking other ponies, even accidentally, he should probably at least see what she wanted to save any other unfortunate souls from her antics- probably. He headed towards her, preparing for some inevitable attack; his path made easy by the volume she was yelling his name.

Hijinks continued scanning the crowd, calling out, "Flaaaaaashie! Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaashie!" Eventaully she spotted a familiar grey stallion walk up to her. "Flashie! Why do you ignore me? you jerk!" She considered zapping him, but he could probably lift her into the air with his stupid magic. "Anyways, I gots a proposition for you!"

Quantum inwardly sighed.  Of course.  "What could you possibly need from me? I'm not accepting any blame for anypony you've attacked.  And no, I don't have any candy."

"It's simple", She replied. "All I want you to do is distract that pony over there." Pointing to the pony that was currently selling apples at his apple stand. "While I 'borrow' some of his wares. It's so simple, even you could do it." She looked back at Flash with a smirk. "Of course, you'll get some apples too. I'll even guarantee I won't spit on them. Whaddya say?"

Quantum stood there seemingly with a straight face for several seconds as he took this in.  Then, quietly at first, he began to laugh until he was laughing fairly loudly.  Not loudly enough to attract more than a few odd looks but still hard enough to bring tears to his eyes.

Hijinks sighed and shook her head. Figures. "Oh well..." She began, holding up her joy buzzer. "Looks like I'll have to do it the old-fashioned way." She said, turning on the joy-buzzer to high, letting the sparks dance and jump off the device on her hoof.

She temporarily turned the device off, and set off towards the apple stand with little subtlety.

Quantum, still chuckling a little, takes a few steps and grabs her.  "And where do you think you're going? We're not done talking yet."

Hijinks gave Flash a quizzical look as she was grabbed. "Sorry, did you say something? I wasn't listening." She then gave a huff and turned her head away from him. If he wanted to ignore ponies by laughing for no reason, then she would ignore him!

Quantum is still smiling, in too good a mood now to be much perturbed by her action. "I said I wasn't done talking.  What I am going to say is: yes."

Hijinks gave an impatient huff. "Yeah yeah I kinda ex- wait what?" Did he say yes? That was unexpected. She was asked just to annoy him about being a thief, which he heavily opposed last time she brought it up. "What happened to not wanting to be a thief? Did acting like a stuck up snob get boring?" Despite the insult, she was genuinely curious as to why.

Quantum lowers his voice a little conspiratorially. "Oh no. I have to keep that up for appearance's sake. Most of the time.  The thing is, these merchants are the real thieves.  Does it really count if you steal what was already stolen?"

Hijinks blinked. Then she began laughing maniacally, catching a few odd looks from passer-bys. When her laughing fit finally calmed down, she wiped an imaginary tear from her eye. "Oh that's rich." She chuckled. "You actually think you are the good guy, even when stealing!"

Quantum nods cheerily. "Of course. If I thought I was the villain, I would hardly stick to petty thievery, now would I?"

Hijink's laughing eventually died down, allowing her to breathe once more. "Phew! You are a crazy one, you know that? Or maybe you're just stupid... Doesn't matter." She looked back at the apple stand. "If you could distract that pony at the stall, I can sneak a few apples in my bag. Only the best of course, I'm a stickler for quality."

Quantum nods and slips away humming before trotting up to the stand's owner and demanding the prices of every single piece of food there.  The owner, looking miffed, indicated with a hoof various price tags placed on the item. Quantum picked up a bruised fruit and starts inquiring about reduced prices for damaged goods.

Hijinks began her sneaky sneaking by walking up behind the stand. The stand itself was two tables placed together covered by a green sheet that was so long that it touched the floor. On top of the two tables were a few wooden crates filled with apples. Hijinks noted most of them looked not very appetizing. When she was sure nopony was looking, she quietly as possible, peeked over from behind the stand and gazed at the apples. Confident that the store owner was occupied, she lifted a few edible apples into her satchel.

One for Flashie, two for me. Hijinks thought

Finished with her shopping, she decided to leave a small parting gift. A small bomb with a long fuse. Striking the match against the ground, she lit the small bomb and placed it among the apples. It was red so it would kinda fit in if it wasn't for the fuse. The explosion itself would probably make apple mush go everywhere, but not actually hurt anything except the apples. The fuse would burn by about eight seconds, and that was like... six seconds ago... Uh oh.

With nowhere else to hide, she ducked under the stall itself. She was concealed by the table cloth, but this was not a good position to hide. She hoped Flashie could like... Knock out the stall owner or something.

(Sorry, I've really been out of it.  Short post because I need to) 

Quantum catches the filly stealing the fruit out of the corner of his vision, but of course does not say anything.  He does pause though, frozen in the middle of a sentence, as he notices her place a red device with a fuse- a fuse!- among the apples.  The stand owner, misinterpreting his gaze, spins around, barely missing Hijinks's dive for cover and spins around again as his wares explode with a bang that makes his ears ring. 

Quantum stands there with mixed expressions on his face, besides of course a nice coating of apple mush.  He watches in consternation as the stand owner sinks to the ground with an absolutely horrified stunned expression.  He would have expected such a ruthless haggler to be a little stronger willed.

Hijinks decided that it was best to just make a break for it. It's not like anypony would suspect a filly of causing the explosion. Choosing the opposite direction from where the store owner was, Hijinks made a dash for the alleyway that she started from, evading the bystanders that stopped to gawk at the store owner's 'display'. She made it safely back to the alley without incident and decided to wait for Flash.

Quantum glanced out at the rapidly forming ring of gawkers who were whispering among themselves and pointing to himself, the destroyed stand, and the stall's owner as well.  He gave a very irritated frown as he wiped apple mush from his face and said in a clear and nonplussed tone to the shop keeper "never mind, I don't think I want anything after all."  With a flick of his tail, he pulled his hood back over his head with magic and pushed through the ring, leaving them to still stare at the owner who was just now getting to spluttering incoherently "what.. but.. how.."

Once he was free, he trotted off in a random direction through the market before starting to circle around to where he had agreed to meet Hijinks.  It had turned out after all to be fairly entertaining, but he also thought he might give her a little bit of a hard time for making a mess of his cloak.

Hijinks waved at Flash as he approached. "Hey Flashie! Did you enjoy the show? It was like pooooooow and he was like ermagash and it was funny." She lobbed the apple she promised at him. "Quest complete!"

Quantum grins lightly, but it does not quite entirely reach his eyes. "It proved to be a much more entertaining adventure than I had anticipated, I must say.  However, my cloak protests your methods." He shakes a little bit of apple off of it before taking the one proffered to him.  "You should really work on your aim."

Hijinks shrugged. "I've had worse. like this one time blah blah sheep blah blah raining yogurt blah blah good times." She finished eating her apple and chucked the apple core away somewhere behind her. Turning her attention back to Flash, she spoke up again. "So have you seen Kitten lately? I think he's in kahoots with some griffons but I wasn't really listening. Crazy days."

Quantum turned his head around to slip the apple into one of his bags as she chattered on about something, what exactly it was he couldn't tell, unless in fact she actually was saying "blah" a lot. By the time he turned his head back, he was surprised to find that she had finished hers and was tossing it to the side. "That was quick.  You must have really been hungry.  Wait, who's this kitten who you're speaking of?"

Hijinks laughed. "Hijinks east fast? nooooo. Flashie eat slow." she continued to laugh as she wiped an imaginary tear from her eye. "Anyways. Kitten is Tida and Tida is Kitten. You dig?"

"Ah. I probably should have guessed. Do I even want to know whatever pet name you've probably created for me?"

"Sir Buttercup Daniels the third. Violently racist and a butt-face to boot." Hijinks said in her 'posh' voice which basically imitated Canterlot speak.

Quantum started to act all offended and turned up his nose while still keeping one eye on her. "I'll have you know titles are very important. I am absolutely horrified that you could not recall that I'm the Fourth and not the Third."

Hijinks snickered. "I would believe you if you weren't so odd." She paused for a second, thinking. "So... Whatcha gonna do now? Kill some griffies in the name of ponykind like the adorable violent racist that you are?"

"I'd rather like to wash all this apple off of my cloak first.  How can I be seen as a glorious savior if I look ridiculous?" Quantum strikes a faux heroic pose, meant to convey strength and confidence, but probably only coming off as comedic.

Hijinks giggled at the display. "oh wooow, soooo macho." She said with a obvious bite of sarcasm. "You should stick to your day job though... which is the circus, right?"

Quantum puts a hoof to his face. "No.. it can't be that.  The circus left town a few weeks ago.  Took all my fresh laundry too." He shrugs. "Mostly I just pound stuff."

Hijinks tilted her head in confusion. "Pound stuff? Like with a hammer? I can't really see you doing that... Unless you use your face, that would explain so much."

"Ah no you have it all wrong about my face.  I don't hammer things with it, but I do occasionally miss with the hammer is all."

Hijinks nodded. "Yes yes, It must be very painful... waking up to that every morning."

Quantum grins maniacally. "No it actually isn't. Not one bit." Suddenly he seems to fold in on himself a little bit "...because my reflection quit."

Hijinks giggled hysterically. "Hahaha! Yeah, there was a major breech in workplace health and safety there." After calming she spoke again. "You know what? You not so bad Flashie. I mean... You look and sound stuck up but you ain't so bad. If you want, I could do your hair a bit, make you look cooler. Does afro sound good to you?"

Quantum chuckles.  "They pay me not to walk by mirror shops.  Let's not make it worse.  Besides, I was thinking just the color.  What do you think complements my eyes? Maybe a nice rainbow?"

Hijinks raised a hoof up to her chin in thought. "hmm... How about green? I heard somewhere that green hair is really stylish."

Quantum runs a hoof through his mane. "Hmm. Maybe.  A nice shade of olive would be just fine.  But how would you dye it?"

"How about olive oil?" Hijinks suggested.

Quantum affects surprise. "Olive oil? I might be up for a little petty thievery but Grand Theft Oil is just not my thing. That stuff is expensive."

"Drat." Hijinks pouted. "hmm... What if... you got really mad? Getting super angry makes you all green and stuff and it also gives you guns like daaayuuuum."

Quantum just shakes his head.  "I can't do that. I forgot my purple spandex at home.  We have to think harder!"