Two Lives [private]

Darkness was everything there was to see in the 30 meter tunnel, as it was often at this time of the day. The inhabitants of this darkness were Shadowstrike and Scrapper T. Ferrous, already resting their eyes, Shade comfortably snuggled against her lover. Head resting against his breast, she clearly heard his heartbeat. Too fast to be asleep. If he felt like Shade, sleep wouldn't come within the next few minutes. Not that this was a bad thing, of course. Lying in Scrapper's hooves and just thinking? Perfectly enjoyable for the assassin. Though, if he was awake anyway, she might as well speak her thoughts.
You know, I just noticed that I have no clue about your life, except for the last few weeks. Or the other way around for that matter, she said softly, not moving and continuing to listen to the earth pony's heartbeat.

Scrapper was happy around Shade, most likely always would be. Sharing his past now that he could think about it would also be allowed.
But where to start? He has several hundred stories he could publish in books stored in his memories. He decided to start it off simply.

"That you haven't Las." He said back softly, not moving to preserve both their comfort's.
"Seeing as how I am such a gentlecolt, I'll go first." he said again, being more concerned about how Shade's memories make her act, and how his would at least give her something to distract her.
After a few thinking noises he finally came out with, "Have you ever eaten a snake before?"

What? Shade let out a chuckle at the unexpected question, but she quickly figured out the implications. No, I haven't. Seeing that ponies usually get sick from eating meat of any kind, you must have been either very desperate, or very stupid. What was it?

"Both." He said back smiling. "I was desperate at first, during one point in my life. Then actually got used to it, that made it stupid because i kinda used it as a source of life in later endeavors." He said. "It's actually quite tasty, but then again, I'm weird." He added jokingly.

"Long before that time though, I was placed into the Royal Guard sometime after my life of thievery didn't work out. To teach me discipline they said, I only ever listened to The Boss though, she was the only one that mattered at the time." he started again, not realizing he didn't explain who 'The Boss' was. But Shade would probably ask questions.

This time, it drew a laugh out of Shade. You in the guard? Hard to imagine, she said, picturing in guard armor, standing to attention with a gruff officer barking something at him. Yes, the scene was utterly ridiculous and unbelievable. Makes me wonder who that "Boss" was, that she actually made you listen, she added.

"She was uhh... To them she was a highly respected figure. To me.. like a Mother. I can't picture myself being alive today if she hadn't seen how well I fought unarmed. Boss taught me everything I know and more." he said back, rushing through his memories like searching for a chapter in a book. "I lost contact with her sometime after the war started, and with my C.O's decisions seemed more and more suicidal so I left one night. I searched for her but, didn't get too far. I was picked up by a hefty Griffon patrol, and sent to that torture prison that left me my scar." He paused in thought, then ended that rant with, "Yup, no way I'd be alive now without her. Kinda wish i knew her fate though."

I suppose asking Prism or some of the other military ponies could help, Shade answered after a while of thought. This pony was important to Scrapper, so finding out what happened with her was instantly high up on the list of priorities. Does she also have a name? That would make finding her easier.

Scrapper sighed, he didn't know her name. Wasn't even sure of she had one honestly, but her reason for it was secrecy. That much was clear. If she wanted that much from keeping her real name hidden, it was working.
"I don't know. She was more into keeping her details hidden than you are, it was probably a nickname that stuck but... there's no way i wouldn't recognize her." He said after a good while of thought. "Don't worry about it, but if I ever see her face again, at least I'll have a long held question out of my mind."

"The rest of my life isn't much more than everyday stuff, so i don't know what else i can say unless you have questions of your own." he said. Everyday stuff now-days mean't many things, he had a lot to say, but nothing greatly interesting.

Sounds like I'd like your boss. Not good if I want to find a pony, Shade said grinningly, though the grin was lost just like every expression in total darkness. I doubt that was everything interesting about you life, but I guess it's my turn now.

Scrapper would easily feel Shade tensing up a little. So far through the conversation, she hadn't kept her emotions leashed, since they were nothing to worry about, but now this would change, and though Shade didn't indent to hide how she was feeling from Scrapper, she had to lock most of it away to be able to tell this. Her voice became less lively, carrying a tint of sorrow, as always when she thought about her past. It would be a lie to say that I didn't have happy times, even after the war, but since my last group of friends was killed... it feels like somebody is playing around with me. I feel content, and suddenly lose everything. But right when I give up, somepony shows up and gives me hope again. Then the story repeats. It happened two times so far, and I don't think I could relive it a third time and still go on. She paused for a moment, and failed a topic she would actually like to talk about, even though Scrapper deserved it. There's a lot to tell, and I don't know where to start. What do you want to know?

Scrapper took a few moments to think about things, maybe finding out what the first time was would help? Or maybe it wouldn't, it could make things worse letting her think about it.
He gently ran his hoof along Shade's side, more particularly, her Scar. It was earned somehow, like he 'earned' his. When it came to judging scars this was quite impressive. If you dig knowing how badass someone is.
"I wonder how you got this actually. You don't get something like this from jumping a fence or falling over. So what's the story with it las? And if that's too much, uhm... something, something, question." He said, and ended it with nonsense because he didn't actually know what to ask other than that yet.

Her scar... just another turning point in her life. A lection she had learned. That's a reminder of how I almost killed a friend.

Though it was a regretful memory, the story didn't have a terrible ending. It was something Shade could easily tell, even though she still felt bad about what had happened. At the time I had little control of myself. I was hot hot headed, and reckless. My friends were trying to get me to do something against my outbursts, but that only caused me to hide it from them. Searching privacy as soon as something angered me. But I guess they knew anyway.

One day I was on a mission with Jade. She wasn't a great fighter, but at least was reasonably good at hiding, and way better with locks than I am, and that's already something. I had an outburst during the mission. I attacked a group of guards head on, and inevitably Jade was dragged into it. I noticed almost too late, only barely caught the blow for her. I didn't even mind that I was out of action for months afterwards, it felt like I deserved worse. The only reason we got out alive was that my friends already didn't trust me anymore. Apollo and Ceive had followed us without my knowledge, to keep an eye on me and step in should anything happen.

I thought they would leave me back then, but I actually got the exact opposite. They didn't allow me go anywhere alone anymore, one of them was always with me. This time I listened to them. And that was the beginning of me locking my emotions away.

"I had a pretty good taste of what that must have felt like, must have been far worse back then." Scrapper said in response, "But, I wouldn't know the feeling. Everypony I've been placed by to help has either tried to kill me or messed things up themselves. And some ask me why i don't like teams of more than 2."

He took a few moments to think, running in full pelt sounds like a lot of fun. Wait, no, that's stupid. He didn't know why that crossed his mind but he eventually focused on asking something else.
"What about before all of this? Like, the same time we technically first met that is. What did you do then?"

Those were happy times. Happy enough for Shade to smile, but while she was able to concentrate on the good of those memories, she couldn't keep her eyes dry. Those good times were gone. Skylight was gone. Every single memory was tainted like this. She couldn't remember without sorrow, but at least right now the remembered happiness prevail. I had only one friend back then, but that was all I needed. Skylight... we did everything together. A lot of mischief, primarily. We didn't have a care in the world. Once we even sneaked into the castle, just for the fun of it. The officer that eventually found us was quite impressed about how far we'd come, and let us go without much trouble. Light gray mare with blonde mane, if I remember right. Since you were in the guard, maybe you've met her?

"It must be a curse, it has to be. You're cursed." He said happily, "How has our fates been intertwined so much in the past!" He continued, chuckling a little afterwards.
"That description fits her, The Boss I mean. Perfectly. I don't know any guard that would have let you go after saying they were impressed at criminal actions."

He snuggled against Shade more, "Then again, this curse is a little to cute to be thrown away. Deadly Cute."

Yep, definitely feels like somebody is making my life up, Shade joined in the chuckle and responded to Scrapper's snuggling. And recently that somebody decided that it was time for cheesy romance. At least that I'm thankful for. I wonder if there are even more coincidents. Rolls, Jade, Ceive, Quicksteel. Does any of those names ring a bell?

"Ceive? Last time I remember saying that name was when i was forced into finding my way out of some dark as hell caves with nothing but the light from a cigarette. Because he kicked me into a chasm after stealing my bag." He said calmly, "Then I heard it as a beat the information I wanted out of the pony that tricked me in the first place. Oh boy, If I'd have known this back then I probably wouldn't have been THAT upset. Got what i wanted though, didn't feel bad about it then. I do now though."

Scrapper looked in a what seemed to be a random direction, focused on... something. But the words he spoke were quite sarcastic, "Cheesy? Is that what you call it? You make me feel weird, breaking all my hearts."

Suddenly Shade broke into laughter, for two reasons. First, it was completely ridiculous how connected their lives had been without their knowledge. Second... That... That's so... Ceive! Never knew what's good for him. Trust me, you're not the only one who gave him a bloody snout. She giggled on for a moment before getting a little thoughtful. Actually, I currently can't say why I didn't kill him. Probably he tricked me somehow, that's how he solved all the problems he had caused with his trickery. He definitely was a bastard at times.
And yes, for my standards that's cheesy. I consider that a good thing though, she added with a smirk.

"Well okay then, I'll learn to be polite to ponies that kick me into Life or Death situations and we'll call it good from there" he said in response.
"But, if you were happy enough to wander into a heavily guarded castle with your friend, you must have done other things like it. Right?" he said grinningly.

You could say that, Shade replied. We had a trip into the Everfree, redecorated the house of some noble on vacation, learned that taking Lance with us is not safe, but fun, explored the caves beneath Canterlot... Yes, we did a lot. But it was a thing of the past and it would never be this way again. Shade lost her smile, and continued in a much sadder tone. All the sneaking around... it's my nature, but since Skylight was killed, I seldom find the fun in it. I still have adventures to match those from my foalhood, but all it isnow  is a duty, something I have to do to eradicate that asshole.
Though, after knowing what he did to you, it maybe was better this way for Skylight. Torture... Shade had her own share of pain, but she couldn't dare to imagine what actual torture would be like. And Scrapper had to leave a pony behind in that place. That pony you've left behind... how was she?

"'How was she' could mean anything, I'll use my best judgement for this one uhm..." Scrapper said and ended with a pause to think.
"She was the first pony that ever suffered because i couldn't keep my promise. I think I remember how she looked, actually, I can't forget. I face those colours every time I look at the sky. Last time I saw her I was jumping backwards out of a sewer system down a cliff into freezing water." He said with some stutter in his voice.

Every time he looks at the sky... Even though the sky over Manehatten was mostly gray, Shade got what he meant. And it gave her an idea. An idea she felt to be impossible. Tempting. Frightening.

There were mand Shade and Scrapper both had met, many connections between them. Their first meeting, "The Boss", Blackwing, Ceive... Sky...

NO! Skylight was dead. Shade had seen it. Only a crazy idea. Sky blue...

If she had survived, it would have meant torture. The one Scrapper had left behind in suffering. It can't be her. It mustn't be her. Shade wouldn't be able to forgive herself if she had left Skylight to that fate.

It's only a random color! There are many light blue ponies! It's not Skylight. It's just some random filly Shade had never met. It's not her!

--

While Shade tried to get herself off this dangerous thought, to the outside she was frozen. She wasn't comfortably snuggling anymore but had tensed up enough for Scrapper to certainly notice.

"Hm?" Scrapper said in question of Shade's sudden tension. He must have said something that didn't help her thoughts at all. "Di-... Did I say something wrong, Las?"

Shade slowly dismissed the notion of that ridiculous. Or tried to. Her rational side didn't consider it worth talking about, only worth to be delivered to the next mental dumpster. Nothing. Just... Just a stupid thought, she said slowly and forced herself to relax, with expectedly meager results. The thought didn't want to leave, something kept her on it, even though she knew it was nonsense. But in her own stubbornness, she refused to seriously consider it.

"Stupid thoughts huh? I've been having a lot of those recently, abnormally a lot." He said back, thinking that Shade was indeed fine now. "Like, I passed this homeless pony the other day and, well, some part of me wanted to bash their heads in. I shook it off obviously, but there's been a lot more of those thoughts recently."

A distraction, yes! Talk about something else, think about something else! Everything is better than Skylight maybeNO!

Aggressive thoughts towards a perfect stranger. Was that warranted? Not enough information to answer that.

Did he do anything? Shade asked, her voice heavily controlled, and a tad colder than it normally was around Scrapper.

"Nope, he just sat there looking exhausted and, for some reason I thought about beating the life out of him. Or another time, it was worse." He said with a long breath before talking again, "A couple of young ones, Obviously brother and sister, sister older than the brother. Y'know how sometimes you come across some of them selling things to make money or help their parents well, they came to me this time. Selling some food they made, normally i would have complied but... My thoughts were filled with sudden anger and apparently i screamed at them to go away."

"I did find them again and apologize but... bugger, i must still be a bit grumpy since my mind was freed up."

That sounded disconcerting. Shade had her experience with uncontrollable outbreaks, and from what Scrapper told her, she saw a problem similar to her own. A memory that drove him to anger, and eventually beyond. Shade's thoughts were concentrated now, this was worrysome enough. How often do you think about... that unicorn? she asked with concern, not entirely sure how to best refer to the experiments that he'd been used for.

"Not often enough, I've had something else to think about, or rather somepony, that's far more important than what happened before." he said back calmly.

There you have it, cheesy! But don't worry, I have cheesy thoughts as well, Shade said as she searched for his cheek in the darkness, found it, and planted a quick kiss on it. But of course, the topic of stupid thoughts wasn't done yet. There must be some reason for those agressive thoughts.If you're sure it's not the experiments, what else could it be?

"I can't tell. It's never happened before and I'm too much of a realist to care much for what happened all those years ago even though it interests me." He said calmly. "I've never had thoughts that would hint towards any kind of bloodlust, until recently. It's like some other part of me is constantly telling me to do things and it's really getting to me."

Apart from the experiments, what else had happened that might cause unwarrented aggression? They needed to find the reason, then maybe they could resolve this before it became a real problem. There was the torture camp of course, but why would that come up now? That was a memory that hadn't been locked away, he had lived with it for years. There was no reason why it should cause trouble now. The only thing left Shade knew about was the eradication of the spell in his mind.

She raised her head and lit up her horn so that she could look into his eyes. Silvern warned us about possible damage to the mind, she said quietly, scared by this possibility. They would have nothing to work with, no words or actions could possibly heal it. And right now, it was the likeliest reason. Whatever it is, please don't let it take you over. I don't want you to become like me.

"If i became like you I'd be female and... Actually, that'd be cool!" He said to try lighten up yet another situation of mental stress. It's become a broken record now, mental stress here, mental stress there, now he might be going crazy. Oh joy!

"I'd have a lot more finesse that's for sure, flexibility maybe. Yeah! It'd be awesome to be not male and be really nice to look at!" Insulting himself? That's nothing new.

Shade raised an eyebrow and showed a slight smirk. I think I prefer you as a stallion, she said and gave her mate a kiss on the muzzle, before shutting off the light and using Scrapper as pillow again. We're talking about your sanity and you make jokes. But I guess you're right, we have too many sore topics. Not surprising when even the happy memories hurt. And with thoughts of her past, she reminded herself of the impossible coincidents that had occupied her mind before a possible case of insanity came up. At that point Shade decided to bring the thought to a stop right now. That pony you left behind, what was her name?

"Back to this huh? It's not hard to remember what i called her, It may not have even been her real name but she told me to call her Sky" In all honesty it made sense, sky-blue mare called Sky. It being a nickname is perfectly plausible, although Scrapper got the feeling this was going to cause something in Shade's head by the fact she brought a 'Stupid' thought back up.

Sky... Skylight. Instead of the expected truth that it was somepony else, Shade had gotten a hint in the other direction. She had called her Sky all the time. Could it really be?

But it's just a name. Names were far from unique, especially not one like "Sky". Shade was slightly trembling as she asked the next question, scared of the possibility that her friend had survived all those years ago. Death would have been better than the alternative. Sky blue pegasus, white hair, turquoise eyes? Probably with a large scar on her belly?

Oh boy, this is getting somewhere. Regardless, no point in hiding the truth. "Yes I think that's about right, why? Do y-... Oh hold on a minute." He said, although saying nothing after.

He just made the connection after all that time. What an idiot he is.

Skylight, Shade breathed, before falling silent in a state of shock. Her eyes were wide open and quickly filling with tears, but she wasn't aware of it, and in the darkness Scrapper would only be able to guess.

Skylight had survived. Shade had never once doubted that her friend had died twelve years back in Canterlot. That it was over. But Sky had survived. She had needed help. Shade should have rescued her. But she had failed to check if her friend really was dead. She always checked enemies. She hadn't checked a friend. And the friend had paid for it with agony.

Skylight had survived. Shade couldn't have imagined something worse to learn. She had never felt guilty for what had happened, but now she knew that her responsibility had continued, and she had ignored it. She had left a friend behind in ignorance, because she had been too sorry for herself. She had never even considered the possibility of survival. An unforgivable mistake, and now there was nothing to be done about it.

Despite the emotional turmoil, no rage showed itself. Shade was mentally abscent, unresponsive, and lost in the building of her life falling apart as a part of it had turned out to be an illusion.

He remained silent also, it took him a bit of thought himself.

Blackwing had taken special interest in Sky, or Skylight as he knew now, before. His purpose was to break ponies into submission and make them slaves, he failed to get Skylight out of that place and that sparked the slightest bit of hope in him. What if she was actually still alive? What if, even if she had been through hell, survived?

With a 'Hm' of hope, he spoke after a few minutes of silence. "Regardless, I think we may have a bigger mission that just killing Blackwing. If what I think is correct, It's a way to redeem myself of what I did before."

How long had Skylight lasted? Hoped for Shade to come and rescue her? Hoped for Scrapper to get her out? But it never happened. Shade had failed her, as had Scrapper. And there was no redemption in sight, after twelve years there wasn't much to imagine what had eventually happened. What else would there be to do? She just survived to die under torture some time later, she said regretfully, seeing only the bad that her life normally provided.

[Time to fix up the past a little! *dubstep drop*]

He had heard from other ponies at the time how bad the place was, hell, he was in it. But no matter what happened in that place, he was the only one to ever escape. No one else could, and no one else did. Of course, he didn't say that to anyone and nobody found out from the Griffons either. It was a fortress that, once entered, you could never leave.

Shade's negativity rubbed against him pretty well, His head and emotions clearly sunk. He just rested his head against Shade in a kind of, disliked acceptance. She was probably right, and it made him feel all the worse for it. "Somehow, I wish you were wrong las."

Shade tried to push this information out of her head and rest, but it was haunting her now. She tried to concentrate on Scrapper, but that only reminded her that he had been there with with Sky. In a torture camp...

Shade suddenly stood up, and began pacing. In the darkness that was mostly to be recognized by her unusually loud (though still somewhat silent) hoofsteps, a result of missing the layer of cloth she usually had between her hooves and the ground, and a lack of care. What the darkness hid were the tears and the pained expression she wore, but for Scrapper, those probably were obvious anyway.

When Shade stood up, Scrapper didn't bother trying to stop her. He understood why. He just stayed where he was, but he could at least try to calm her down.

The words that came out of his mouth however, were almost banished the last time he even thought about it. "It was all my fault... If only I had fought back when I still could have I might have... Instead I jumped, to certain death..." Scrapper completely lowered his head onto the floor. Recalling that choice, the choice he made that broke a promise that mean't another's well-being, the choice that affected him so much from the day it happened that he begins to tear up at the thought.

He made some selfish decisions that day, not freeing any other prisoners when he had the chance, jumping to freedom rather than fight to save the one he promised to save. Shade might not care after he blamed it on himself, perhaps from anger. But she should easily be able to see, that he was covering his face, because he was starting to cry.
These thoughts hit him just as hard as they hit her, only for different reasons.

Shade ceased her pacing when Scrapper suddenly spoke. She listened intently, and found it an exact mirror of her thoughts. Side by side, together we will stride, she whispered, her normal voice denying her service. That's the promise we have given each other. I have failed her as much as you did. She trusted both of us, and none of us held their promise.

She began pacing again, quickly growing more frantic before she found herself almost running into a wall. She turned on her front hooves and with a primal cry of despair ang anger at herself drove her hind hooves into the hard conrete. WHY?!?`WHY DOES ALL THIS CRAP HAPPEN TO ME?!? Another buck hit the wall, this time accompanied by a cry of pain. Afterwards there was only sobbing heard from her direction.

Scrapper got up and moved to lay down next to Shade again, in an effort to comfort both of them. At least a little.

"There's no point of asking why anymore... Whoever has this course set for us is clearly not a very nice, but no matter what happens from now on, I'll be here for you." He gave Shade a kiss on the cheek then leaned against her to comfort her with his presence, and hopefully distract her from thinking about, anything.

Scrapper's words went largely unheard, they were of little importance. He was there, that was what counted. She clinged to him and buried her face in his side as she wept, but her thoughts stayed where they were. I'm... I'm sorry Skylight, she whispered. I'm sorry.

Scrapper kept his thoughts to himself. He kept close to Shade, because it usually helped in some way. He remembered something his mentor always taught him, and decided to try share it.

"The Boss always told me, that the day your emotions take their rightful place in your mind, is the day you become the kind of individual you were always destined to be." He said softly, calming down with the memories of his mentor and what she taught him. "I never knew what she mean't at the time, which was her point. But ever since that day, I figured it out."

"I recognised how much I changed. I was no longer the arrogant foal who would just as easily give his life away because he didn't want to do something. I became just like her, The Boss. Loyal to myself, my choices and those who couldn't rightfully protect themselves." Scrapper smiled, happy that he knows exactly who he is and exactly who he wishes to stay. "Yeah, she sure did have an eye for her own character that's for sure."

"Like you said a while ago, we don't know much about each other. But if I knew what kind of pony you thought you were, I could tell you if your right. But I guess I can save it for another time if you don't know." He finally finished, bringing a hoof around Shade to keep her close to him. Hoping she'd agree and try to drift off to sleep.

What kind of pony was Shadowstrike? After everything that had happened, the answer was still clear. After all, it was only one small sentence. My friends are everything I live for, she said after a long silence - only interrupted by sobs. But in the effort to get her voice under control, the answer had come out mechanical, unowrthy of the meaning behind it. She couldn't let it stay like that, and continued talking. Without them, I have no purpose, no reason to live. I'm loyal to them above myself. Everypony else... The world could go to hell as long as I knew my friends are alright. I would push the world into damnation if I had to, if only it meant that those I care about would be better off for it. Even if it meant giving up on myself. After a pause, she addid bitterly, But I have only failed them.

"Hm." Is all that came in an initial reply.
He took a few moments to recollect his thoughts around that. "I know exactly what she would say to you."

"Your mind is in a good place, but even you have to consider your own future. Even being the pony you are, you can find love and be happy. If love can bloom in a romantic field where worries wash away, it can bloom in a battlefield where death is mere seconds away. You must ask yourself, "Would I be able to defeat who I am, for the individual I'll need to become to protect the one's I love, over the one's I respect?" He said, staring into nothing as he spoke, clearly trying to replicate his mentors complex mind.

He started to chuckle a little, "Yeah. She was strange. That must have passed on to me a little, but with less hard to understand advice. I think what she would mean with that, is that one day, you'll have to change how you think and what memories you should remember, in order to protect... well, y'know. If we get that far." He said, trying not to force any other thoughts into her mind. "You may not change today, or tomorrow. Or for the next few years. But knowing my old mentor, she was usually always right."

If we get this far? Shade perked up, surprised that Scrapper didn't just say what was the case. All the despair about Skylight's cruel fate couldn't make her miss this sign of insecurity regarding their relationship. In part, she was thankful for it, for it was important enough to shift her mind's focus a bit. Her voice still carried a sad undertone, but at least it was growing stronger again, not only a mere whisper. We've already crossed the line. It may have been born of need and desperation, but that doesn't make it any less true. I love you here and now, and the way you behave you can't tell me that you don't love me as well. Despite everything that happened, I know my course from here. I won't leave your side.

After a short pause, she continued, her voice more tainted by sorrow again, but still strong. This promise I and Skylight have given to each other... I never have given it to anypony else, not in the same meaning. I was willing to lay down my life for my later friends, but I didn't make the promise to be there for them at all times. I wandered through Equestria instead. Whenever I met with them, we had enough chances to make sure our friendship was as strong as always. But in the end they died because I wasn't there.

If anything has to change, I think this is it, she finally said with resolve. Her horn lit up, banishing the darkness so that she could look into Scrapper's eyes. Her own were still wet from tears, but also clad with determination. You're currently my sole reason to live, and I won't leave you on your own. I promise to you: Side by side, together we will stride.

"I have the feeling you didn't get my meaning, but that doesn't matter. It'll be fun to see you work it out." He said happily, keeping Shade close. Almost acting like a giant blanket for her.

He began to rest his head, aiming for sleep. But if Shade decided to keep talking then he would be happy to talk back. I mean, it's not hard to figure out what he mean't if you put a little more dedicated thought into it.