Silvern Gleam [Unicorn]

by Silvern Gleam Fri Dec 21, 2012 3:26 pm

Hey there!

This character comes along with a shop for magical artifacts in the Undermarket that's been there since shortly after the occupation of Manehatten. The numbers of characters knowing about it is supposed to be limited, so this knowledge can only be achieved through RP or asking me first. If you could use artifacts, feel free to contact me, I'm happy about every customer!
Details regarding the shop are in the app.

Basic Information:

Appearance:

Special Talent - Magic Sight:

Second (not really "minor") Talent - Spell Manipulation:

Ability examples and uses:

History:

Personality:

Shop "The Magic Eye:

Timeline:

by Freyia Fri Dec 21, 2012 8:56 pm

After reviewing it I find I like the concept a lot. There are a few things that I would like clarification for and might need to be changed to avoid being over powered:

1) "She has a complete surround view, it is practically impossible to sneak up on her and magic sight isn’t blocked by objects, so that she can see through walls."

This might prove to be a little too powerful. In a grimdark cityscape RP, hiding, stalking, and ambushes are very important, and if your character can see 360 degrees through obstacles, you would negate a lot of characters that rely on it to perform.

Maybe instead have a small range on it, so that it is a circle around you with a radius of like 10'. Or you can try what Forte has done, her ability does allow her to see all around without having to face any direction, but she has to focus on certain parts, similar to a searchlight, and increasing the radius of the focus requires more energy.

2)"Also it is impossible to cast any spell within close range of her without her noticing, stronger ones she can detect over a distance of several hundred meters."

Several hundred meters is a few football fields. How strong exactly would it have to be to sense that far. And how far can you sense normally, i.e creatures, artifacts, spell casting. This might prove to be a little strong depending on the range.

3) Your spells are interesting. I like that alone you are relatively weak, but in the presence of other magical auras you can manipulate them. Keep an eye to make sure you don't go too far with any of it. Same goes for your Enchanting skills.

Just either post here or PM me with your responses. Aside from these things I really like your character idea and can't wait to hear back from you.

by Silvern Gleam Sat Dec 22, 2012 8:30 am

Overpowered? How ist that overpowered? [/irony]
You pretty much mentioned the points I expected, she's coming from a site where stealth wasn't that important, and I had the advantage that everybody there knew how I can handle overpowered characters (my chars tend to be like that^^). I suppose I can tone her down a bit.

1) I don't like the thought of her skill constantly requiring energy, she quickly runs out of power anyway, and I definitely want the 360 degree view. But, here's a compromise: Without doing anything, she sees everything in a short radius around her, not enough to detect each and every ambush, but enough to notice somebody sneaking up on her before there's no time to duck away anymore. We're talking about a distance of... 3 meters? That's already damn low as I see it, considering a living being's aura is already quite a bit of magic.

Anyway, I've decided to adapt the searchlight idea, though without requiring Sil to spend energy on it. Only when she concentrates on a direction/signature, she gets the really detailed information and can see farther, which can still be used to detect an ambush, but could also mean she's walking right into the next wall while doing so, because she simply didn't look out where she's going.

The only case where she spends energy to improve her sight, is when she's using her amulet. While powering it, the radius in which she sees without concentrating is significantly increased, then I will let her detect ambushes easily. The problem: 30 seconds, and she wouldn't be able to cast anything anymore.

2) When I wrote several hundret meters, I had really powerfull spells in mind. Over such large distancce Sil would never be able to analyse the spell, but she notices the power surge. It will be really rare that she notices something over more than 100 meters, normally it will be more around 25 to 50, such simple stuff like levitation is even below that. But active use of magic always is like a beacon to her.

3) Thanks! I'll promise, I'll take care not to let her go all crazy, I'm used to playing powerful chars^^

So, would these changes be alright?

by Freyia Sat Dec 22, 2012 1:26 pm

ALright sweet, I like your responses:

1) Alright lets do that, 3 meters is about 10 feet which is enough for a room and a little past the walls. This can be her normal range always. The searchlight can be like looking around: i.e. she has a 360 degree peripheral vision combined with the "looking around" searchlight, which can see farther. I think this can work, again my only concern is that when I read characters abilities I think about how these abilities not only affect the player using them, but also those that they are being used on. Please realize that many characters are stealth based hunters or assassins or thieves, so just keep that in mind when RPing. Try and accommodate them, otherwise they may not like RPing with you.

2) Alright, so you can't know the spell or analyze it, but you can tell when one is being used. I think your ranges should go like such: 25 meters normal spells, 50 meters unusual or battle spells, like if a magic fight is going on, and 100 meters really powerful magic. That should be good.

I also think that maybe pinpointing the exact location should be hard. When you sense magic, I feel it should be like hearing a loud cry. You can tell the direction, but not quite the distance or exact location. That is my idea on that.

3) Alright, I will trust you, but know that the other mods and admins are wary of you. Until we get to know you, realize you may be under a bit of scrutiny with any of your posts, so play it cool. Once we get comfortable with you, you will have much more freedom.

Try joining the Chat, there are usually at least a few players on, including myself and Steel Strike, another mod. We are an open community that is run like a group of friends or even family, and a lot of planning and thread making happens there.

I hope these ideas work for you, if they do just add them into your application, let me know and I will get you approved.

P.S. I really like your application format. I may try to get it adopted for all character sheets here. Very nice.

by Silvern Gleam Sat Dec 22, 2012 4:55 pm

Applied the requested changes! They're all in Special Talent, but I also added something new to Ability Examples and Uses, Spell canceling. It was mentioned before, but now it has more explanation and doesn't go under like that.

I understand perfectly well why I'll be under surveillance for some time, would have done exactly the same.